30-Day Letter Challenge, Day 8

Day 8: Your Favorite Internet Friend

Dear A,

           

            I can’t really say you’re my favorite internet friend.  I haven’t spoken to you in two years, and even then I wouldn’t have considered us close.  But you niggle at me, still. 

        I wish I had the courage to tell you that I still think of you.  I still worry about you.  I still feel bad about letting myself fade out of your life without a real goodbye.  I wasn’t a good friend to you, I know.  And I made a promise I so badly wanted to keep but knew perfectly well I never could.  I wonder if you hate me.  I was so confused—felt so guilty—didn’t know what to say to you—thought it would be better if you forgot about me—and probably really hurt you.  I told myself it was kinder, but it was the coward’s way out.  I was seventeen and stupid, and I’m so sorry.

            And I hope, I hope, I hope you’re all right.  There was so much darkness in your life.  

            Please be happy.

                   Your friend, in my own foolish way,

                                A

P.S.  And now I sent you a letter for real.  I guess I'll see if forgiveness is in the cards, but no matter what, I'm glad of it.