Day 5: Dreams
Dear Dreams,
Oh, dear. I dream as I breath—effortlessly, automatically. I’m almost always caught up in some daydream in the back of my mind. I’m not sure it’s healthy, but I don’t know how to be any other way. And, unfortunately, dreams are extremely fun …at least until they crash and burn and take you with them.
There aren’t that many things I want, really. It’s just that the things I want, I want with a yearning that is as inexplicable to me as it is intense. There’s no hurry, I know. I know. But it doesn’t seem to matter to my silly, foolish little heart. It’s so hard to watch half of my college dating, flirting, courting, and to know that I can’t have that (which is seriously weird, because there's not even anyone I'm actually interested in.) Oh, conceivably, I could—but what’s the likelihood? Slimmer than slim. I don’t attend church, most of them would barely (if at all) consider me a Christian…I’m so far off the “acceptable for dating” market it’s not even funny. Pretty I may be, but it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference. So, here’s my dream. I’m not asking for a miracle or a soul mate, but at least once in the next few years it would be nice to be asked to a dance, to think someone’s amazing and, for once, have them think the same of me. And maybe it’s a silly, foolish wish, and patience is what I should be courting, rather than love. And I will try.
But I can’t help wishing.
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